查看完整版本: 央视主持人看病记（爆笑！超强！！）

我爱猪猪 2007-10-17 19:49

央视主持人看病记（爆笑！超强！！）

<p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 20pt; TEXT-INDENT: -20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">一个遇车祸生命危在旦夕的人被抬进急诊室<span lang="EN-US">,</span>医院大夫<span lang="EN-US">(</span>央视主持人<span lang="EN-US">)</span>将会怎样救治呢？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 20pt; TEXT-INDENT: -20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;"><span lang="EN-US">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <strong>NO.1 </strong></span><strong>王小丫</strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">&nbsp;&nbsp;</span></span><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">王小丫大夫冲进手术室<span lang="EN-US">,</span>关切地问伤者：“你知道你伤在哪儿了吗？” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">病人吃力地摇摇头<span lang="EN-US">,</span>王小丫接着说：“给你三个备选答案吧！<span lang="EN-US"> a.</span>肋骨断裂；<span lang="EN-US">b.</span>胸腔大面积出血；<span lang="EN-US">c.</span>颅内出血。” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">病人咬了咬牙<span lang="EN-US">,</span>说：“<span lang="EN-US">a</span>！”<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">王小丫迷人地一笑问道：“你确定吗？你还可以打一个求助电话。” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">病人狂吐血道：“我要打给我父亲！” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">“那好<span lang="EN-US">,</span>你们的交流时间只有<span lang="EN-US">30</span>秒！” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">“爸<span lang="EN-US">,</span>我不行了<span lang="EN-US">,</span>快换医院……”<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></b></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20.1pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">NO.2 </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">倪萍<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></b></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">倪萍大夫以最快的速度冲进手术室<span lang="EN-US">,</span>以最快的速度从眼中流下两行液体<span lang="EN-US">,</span>对全体护士动情地说：“其实……他（指患者）已经离开家在外面漂泊了两个多小时<span lang="EN-US">,</span>他是多么地想家呀<span lang="EN-US">,</span>多么地想他的母亲呀<span lang="EN-US">,</span>多想抱抱他那未满月的孩子呀<span lang="EN-US">,</span>但是现在……” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">倪萍擦了擦眼泪<span lang="EN-US">,</span>接着对病人说：“请您对家里的亲人说上一句话吧！表达一下此时此刻的心情！” （全体护士含泪鼓掌中）<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">病人艰难地张开嘴：“妈<span lang="EN-US">,</span>我没救了！”<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></b></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20.1pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">NO.3 </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">韩乔生<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></b></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 20pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">韩乔生飞一样冲进手术室<span lang="EN-US">,</span>对全体护士说：“这位病人被一辆奥迪<span lang="EN-US">A6</span>以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之势所撞倒<span lang="EN-US">,</span>具体受伤位置好像是头部……哦对不起<span lang="EN-US">,</span>是脚部……” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">一位护士提醒道：“韩大夫<span lang="EN-US">,</span>是胸口在流血呀！” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">韩乔生瞪了她一眼<span lang="EN-US">,</span>接着说<span lang="EN-US">:</span>“病人的身高<chmetcnv tcsc="0" numbertype="1" negative="False" hasspace="False" sourcevalue="1.75" unitname="厘米" wst="on"></chmetcnv><chmetcnv></chmetcnv><span lang="EN-US">1.75</span>厘米<chmetcnv></chmetcnv><chmetcnv></chmetcnv><span lang="EN-US">,</span>体重大约<chmetcnv tcsc="0" numbertype="1" negative="False" hasspace="False" sourcevalue="108" unitname="公斤" wst="on"></chmetcnv><chmetcnv></chmetcnv><span lang="EN-US">108</span>公斤<chmetcnv></chmetcnv><chmetcnv></chmetcnv>。”<span lang="EN-US">(</span>全体护士倒地。<span lang="EN-US">)<p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">最后<span lang="EN-US">,</span>韩乔生开始安排手术任务：“<span lang="EN-US">1</span>号<span lang="EN-US">,</span>你负责观察病人心电图；<span lang="EN-US">2</span>号<span lang="EN-US">,</span>你负责给病人电击；<span lang="EN-US">3</span>号<span lang="EN-US">,</span>你负责给病人缝合；病人<span lang="EN-US">,</span>你负责给病人打麻药。”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">&nbsp;</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;"></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">病人哭道：“俺命真苦呀！打麻药都得自己动手。”<span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">NO.4 </span>鞠萍 </b><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">鞠萍大夫飘然走进手术室<span lang="EN-US">,</span>对护士们说：“全体护士小朋友请注意<span lang="EN-US">,</span>这就是受伤的患者圆圆<span lang="EN-US">,</span>正在流血的是脑袋<span lang="EN-US">,</span>大衣里面正在流血的是肚子<span lang="EN-US">,</span>你们可能看他和平时不一样<span lang="EN-US">,</span>那是因为他被汽车撞过了。” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">护士们用力地点头<span lang="EN-US">,</span>一位护士主动上去缝合伤口<span lang="EN-US">,</span>鞠萍对她微微一笑：“小红<span lang="EN-US">,</span>你的中国结扎得真好！” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">病人喷出了最后一口血说：“那是俺的肠子！” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US">NO.5 </span>赵忠祥 </b><span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">赵忠祥大夫稳重地迈进手术室<span lang="EN-US">,</span>对护士们说：“像大多数动物一样<span lang="EN-US">,</span>每当人类为了在危急关头能够延续受伤的生命<span lang="EN-US">,</span>人类会有一种专门负责救治的人及时出现。这种动物群体内自我救治的例子还很多<span lang="EN-US">,</span>像生活在非洲的眼镜蛇<span lang="EN-US">,</span>都能够自己给自己医治伤口……大家快看<span lang="EN-US">,</span>这个人正在挣扎、抖动<span lang="EN-US">,</span>这是人的肌体的自我救治本能开始发挥作用了。” <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: blue; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">病人痛苦地大叫：“天哪！谁让你们给我请来个兽医！”</span></p>
[align=right][color=#000066][此贴子已经被作者于2007-10-17 19:51:34编辑过][/color][/align]

平安人寿 2007-10-17 23:12

哈哈～～～～

苹果 2007-10-18 08:43

<p>[em01][em01][em01][em01]</p><p>主持人也不容易啊！</p>

柏霖 2007-10-18 09:44

我爱猪猪，好久不来了，最近很忙吧？

柏霖 2007-10-18 09:44

<table class="tableborder1" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="3" align="center" style="WIDTH: 75%;"><tbody><tr align="center"><th width="100%">论坛成功信息 <td></td><tr></tr></th></tr><tr><td class="tablebody1" width="100%"><b>操作成功：</b><br/><br/><li>帖子评价《央视主持人看病记（爆笑！超强！！）》，原因：好久不来，用户操作：积分+20，用户积分变化：评分人[ <font color="#000066"><em>柏霖</em></font> ]：积分无变化;作者[ <font color="#000066"><em>我爱猪猪</em></font> ]：积分+20</li></td></tr></tbody></table>

婉若 2007-10-18 13:49

<p>笑翻了,眼泪都出来了。传给老公了，不知道他会笑成什么样子。</p><p>[em01][em01][em01]</p>

猪猪 2007-10-19 18:38

<p>笑死了，笑死人不偿命啊！</p><p>[em01][em01][em01][em01][em01][em01][em01][em01]</p>

基督山伯爵 2007-10-20 12:57

哈哈哈！，我靠，太有才了[em01][em01]
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